How not to?

Surfing with mind closed can wrack havoc on you and your Computer. There are many viruses and worms that are waiting to infect your computer. Do you feel good when you sit in front of computer and things happen automatically? Like windows opening and closing by themselves, new programs popping up without any commands. What? You like such things happening! Then, this post is just for you.

Turn off Automatic Updates
Automatic updates in any software are irritants. I just hate them. They keep the software up to date and stop viruses and worms from infecting your computers. Thank God, the mindless people writing the code used the last bit of their intelligence and gave us option to turn these off. What are waiting for? Go, turn these off in Windows and any security software you have.

Uninstall Third Party Security Softwares
Windows XP had some (lame) inbuilt security features. Vista has some well implemented irritants. They might be good at saving your PC but these third party antiviruses and firewalls are good guards. They too do not let anyone unauthorized code enter your system. With all these worms and viruses outside your PC, how will you enjoy the automatic things I mentioned?

Download "free" software
Ever saw a website offering a software for free for which Microsoft (or any other company) charges a handsome amount? Click on download link right now. And remember, never run any Anti-virus scan on such a software. It will most probably appear as infected. But I know, you are following my tips and have surely followed second one. Freeware, Open Source and Shareware programs are big irritants. They are 99.9% times virus free.

Visit Porn and "Unlimited Warez Downloads" sites.
Porn sites and warez sites are biggest source of viruses. Access them as much as possible with security measures down. In a few days, your computer will get fully automated. It will start shutting down itself and opening new programs. It may also start downloading and installing new softwares.

Congratulations! If you have followed my tips seriously, you will see your PC getting automated within a few days. Don’t blame me if you are using Linux! It is just more safe.

For those who do not know, SEO stands for Search Engine Optimisation. Search Engines are good source of traffic. But they need to crawl your content. Make this job easy for their Spiders and enjoy traffic. However, I am a white hat and will discuss the same. Black-hats, find some other site. What? You are not a black hat! OK, read on.

Close your eyes when choosing titles.
As simple as it sounds, close eyes when choosing your post title. Something catchy will never make visitors stay on site. Never! Search engines prefer you to include at least one keyword in every post. But do you want to? No! OK, leave keywords.

Update once a year
or better, never. Updating plays important role in getting noticed. Stick to your schedule. Search engines love "live" web-sites. But beware, regular updating does not mean quality degradation. Maintain a balance between quality and quantity. Both are important.

Blog Directories are Rubbish
This attitude will soon get you blog to blog junkyard if there is one. Get your blog listed in every blog directory. When spiders notice your site address on many famous locations, they will soon index your page. To start with, there are links to blog directories somewhere here on this page ( not to your right! I kid! I kid! ). They are pretty good and can get a healthy traffic to your blog.

Manual Submission
Most search engines let you submit your blog manually. I can not mention all the adresses in this space, However here is address for Google.

Comments if used wisely, can bring traffic to your blog. But they can have negative effects too. Are you ready to know about how not to get the traffic through comments? Let’s Start.

Do not read stuff before posting comment
If you find an interesting blog but add comment without reading stuff, you are wasting lot of time, yours as well as bloggers. Reading the stuff at least once before adding comment will help you bring some traffic to your blog.

Post irrelevant comments
Many times, people leave such irrelevant comments that makes you say " What the f! " Leaving irrelevant comments is as good as leaving no comment at all. After all, no one will be interested in your blog if you leave comments such as " visit my icecream blog at ........... " on a blog that discusses politics. Leave some relevant comment. No problem if you leave irrelevant one, blog owner will reject it!

Forget to mention your url
If you do not do above two mistakes then the last thing would be to forget mentioning your url or wrong one. Imagine writing a informative comment as anonymous user and then forgetting to mention your url. I do not need to tell how frustrated you will be.